If you're a "seasoned parent" you know all about the joys (ahem, trials and tribulations) of eating out with kids. And, if you're a "newbie" you'll find out soon enough.
My husband and I "self-proclaimed foodies" used to hit up Yelp on a daily basis, trying to find the newest, and best restaurants to check out that evening or following day - and then, wonder of all wonders, we'd just go!
Did I mention that was B-E-F-O-R-E we had kids?
Anyway, read on for a good laugh about my recent adventures in eating out with kids, which someone at NickMom must have first-hand experience with, since they posted a hilarious cartoon about the same thing at NickMom.com (below)!
Eating Out - Before Kids
Husband: Hey, look! A new restaurant with great reviews
on Yelp, let's go tonight.
Me: Okay, sounds great. I'll be ready at 8!
.....and then we'd go. We'd eat. We'd talk. We'd drink. We'd relax. Then, we'd go home, have a nightcap and go to sleep.
Here's a little snapshot of what it looks like now, with two toddlers in tow.....
Eating Out - After Kids
Husband: Hey, look! A new restaurant with great reviews on Yelp, let's go tonight.
Me: Can you see if there are any photos in the reviews? I have to see if the place is carpeted or if the booths have fabric.
Husband: Why.
Me: Because if the kids spill on a tile floor, it's easy to clean but carpet is a huge mess and I get embarrassed, Duh!
Husband: Umm. There aren't any photos, I can't tell.
Me: Okay, well do they have a kids menu? I don't want to spend $20 bucks on something they won't eat anyway.
Husband: This review doesn't say.
Me: Is there a changing table in the bathroom? The slipped disc in my back can't handle any more, half sink/half counter/mid-air/trying-not-to-touch-anything (before a patron can walk in on us and be disgusted) diaper changes with this kid.
Husband: I don't see where they'd put that information in this review.
Me: How about cups with lids, so the kids don't need 5 outfit changes during dinner.
Husband: I can't find any section of this review called "kid friendly glassware."
Me: Does it look like the walkways are wide enough to take the stroller inside? Because you know Baby O. can always "Houdini" herself out of any typical restaurant high-chair. Oh, and do they even have high-chairs, just in case.
Husband: Seriously? Well, I they don't have the walkway dimensions on the restaurant website, dear. I'm very sorry.
Me: Did you look at what kind of entrees they have? Will they reheat well, because if one or both of the kids start screaming and we have to leave, I'm not spending $40 bucks on a to-go plate!
Husband: Let's just order pizza for delivery.
Me: Yeah. We'll go out to eat next time.
Husband: Yeah, next time.
.......and that's just the beginning of how our "Eating Out With Kids" conversations look these days!
See if you can relate to this cartoon that I found on NickMom.com, it sure tickled my funny bone!
Right?
...and just for kicks. Here's some fun photos of your favorite McKinney Momma, BEFORE and AFTER kids.
..................and after.................
Yes, yes the joys of being a parent. Somewhere underneath the yogurt messes, pizza boxes, diaper wipes and snot rags there's some silver lining.....somewhere.
...and amidst the chaos of family life, if you need a little #Motherfunny laugh once in awhile, which I know I do. Be sure to check out NickMom on Twitter (@NickMom) or Facebook at (https://www.facebook.com/nickmom) for totally fun humor that will lift you up and give you an extra spring in your step to face that next poopy diaper with a bit of laughter and class.
Enjoy the ride!
